Hi Brian -
I understand your frustration, I don't think this was a literal, "deal-breaker" list but a bit tongue-in-cheek about one's unique, sometimes whimsical wants in a partner, and some parts serious as well.
I'll admit one or two times while reading it, I thought "he can't be serious? - likes music but hates radio?" but I knew you were half-joking, ie you're not going to reject a girl just because she likes the radio, you were just trying to describe the spirit of the girl you want.
I felt the longing behind the piece and enjoyed it, but I could see how some people who take things too literally might get preachy. At one point as I went through your list of wants, I jokingly compared you to Jerry Seinfeld who rejected a woman because she ate her peas one at a time with a fork.
But again, I know this was a semi-lighthearted, semi-emotional piece and I took it in the spirit it was intended and enjoyed it. To the others on here criticizing it, I'd say lighten up and stop throttling creativity with the whole cancel culture vulture like mentality!